Both
Either
None
Matter
I see tattoos in the mirror that I don’t have
And barely any reflection of myself in the ink that I do
So I bleed out
All over these pages
And her mattress
And my father’s carpets
And my sister’s jail cell
That’s all I have to offer
This poison
The years of reading
This spiritually repressed regress
The haunted look in my eyes
And the sorrow
The eternal apologies
Sleeping sound in the embrace
Of indifference to sickness and beauty alike
And I still can’t dream
Tell me it’s ok
I really need to believe someone
Something
I value the inane
And despise others for my worst qualities
Let me sell you what I’m not
And hope you love me for what I am
This infection I won’t treat
Attention feeds this pleading desperation’s urge to isolate and reject
I don’t want to sleep again
Or remember my lack of recall
It’s all placebo
And always has been
A cheap temporal substitute for fulfillment
That gratification is all I’ve ever sought
From you
From everything
Absolute egocentricity
So, bleed me at your pace
That’s what I’d do
Pretend I’m in control because illusions matter most
Pretend I’m better
Because I can’t stand the truth
And I will destroy everything around me if you’re unwilling to call me out
I will dismantle my foundations and lay them at your feet, laughing
Just because you’re uninterested
I will feign indifference when I’m destroyed
And I will run head-long into any situation simply because I’m outmatched
All to make myself believe that reckless disregard is an adequate substitute for bravery
Manipulation for willingness
Pleasure for happiness
Imagination for dreaming
truebrutus 